Hassan Weds Zahra

The girl he always wanted,
The girl he never gave up on, 
The girl he waited for, 
The girl his set friends did everything so he could get her. 
And when she said yes, it was not the joy of one person but a gang of friends.
And today he is getting married to her 
We are so happy for you Inamul Hassan.

Time flies but experiences remain... Good Bye 2014

Here comes the end of my most challenging year of my life, 2014.

My confidence level has grown to a greater heights, because you were shitty most of the time and i enjoyed hitting you back left, right, and center.

It has been an awesome learning, i wont forgive, forget nor regret each minute of this year.

I am looking forward to a new year, while welcoming all what you can bring on me.

Being sure i will be ready face 2015 with a smile, because that's life and shit gets harder when you grow old. 

TRUST & HEARTACHE

TRUST comes with this one word a lot of heartache.

I can only assure you that i am a trustworthy person, believing on my words is upto you. Then again i am giving it you on writing......!!
Okay so since i declared myself a trustworthy person,  i want you to trust me when i say DON"T trust anyone... Uhm Yeah "Easier said than Done" 

I have been telling to myself for atleast 10 years now, don't trust anyone.  Easier said than Done isn't it, cause i never followed. 

You should at-least know a few things about me to understand what i am trying to tell you.
I am a born Hindu and still a Hindu, who went to disciplined Christian school, i have uncountable number of Muslim friends and i'm from Sri Lanka.  I know to respect people and their religions.
My parents never forced me Hinduism nor any religion all they and my school taught me is to be a good human being. So i have all the traces an ordinary human would have, i have soft heart that falls in love with people only seeing their good instincts and hence i tend  start caring for them, help them when there in need going out of my league and without me realizing i start trusting them. As i always keep saying myself "DON'T trust anyone" and i only realize that i trusted someone when they hurt me intentionally. Well yes this had happened to me quiet a number of times and all of them who hurt me were my dear dear friends who meant everything to me.. Well that was what i was telling to myself and my dear dear friends that they mean so much to me than anyone else. But things had changed now cause people i grow up with learning how to trust started betraying me.
Which hurts as much as  your boyfriend dumping you for no reason... I guess. !!

If you had asked me then, whom do you trust most, i might have mentioned a few friends names but now if ask me that question i would say "Shobija" yeah thats me.  I have learnt it the harder way and experiences count.

With my experience in getting heart broken a number of times i'm sure i have learnt a thing or two. I would keep teltwing again and again to not trust anyone, and i still would never take my advice like i'm now even though i learnt it the harder way.

I'm sure betrayal hurts everyone and yes it does for me too. When someone break my trust i cry my eyes out for someone who isn't worthy of the water fall of falling from my eyes. And then come my trust issues my heart is so fragile that i have no room to trust anyone while i am losing faith on friendship. But then with the all minor and major heartache precisely only 2 out of 10 people i valued had broken my heart. So i then i realized why should i not trust the remaining 8 people because of 2 and why should i make them feel hurt like i am now.

No matter what people are gonna hurt you. 

So with my experience i can use this most told quote " If you're expecting the world to be fair with you because you are fair, you're fooling yourself. That's like expecting the lion not to eat you because you didn't eat him."   

Only way to save heartache is

1. Expect less

2. Don't stop loving others, cause if 2 broke your heart 8 can fix it.

3. Life is experience and heartache now and then when growing up teach you to depend more on you than anyone else.

4. Trust is essential and however much you deny it, there can be no true

love without trust. 

5. You always need friend to get over the shit another friend put you through.

                                                                                                                                      -xoxo Shobija

Childhood friends, Best friends, Good friends, all my friends in my own world.

 I can never fight with you,

 And it's so  hard for me to live without you,

 I am found with all our memories together,

 Our crazy days and nights,

 We spend together, 

 We ate together,

 We slept togther,

 Spoke hours and hours over the phone,

 That ist easy to forget those little little things we did together,

 Those crazy ideas we came up with in our childhood,

 Those dreams to end up as a scientist, 

 We grew up together,

 Our ideas changed, 

 Our views changed,

 We had to move on for some good reason,

 We werent ready to accept that we are moving apart,

 Now a new world for me and for you,

 Everything seemed to look new,

 Oh yes, we just got to face the world, 

 All these days we were in small circle,

 We wouldnt know anyone but us,

 But now it's time for a new experience,

 It was very hard for us to miss eachother,

 We didnt have anyway way to contact eachother,

 Sometimes you call and we speak for 20 mins,

 Sometimes we write letters and ask friends pass it to bestfriend,

 Whatever happens, Can these memories be ever erased ??

 Still i was like a kid, 

 There were days i cried thinking of you in my new school, 

 Writing your names in my table,

 Lying my head down and thinking of you,

 You are so special in my life and will always be,

 Now the i started to get to know people in my new world,

 I was trying to make friends but it was hard for me,

 Everyone look at me as a stranger,

 And yes i was a stranger to this world,

 I manage and learn to miss friends,

 My nights became shorter,

 It was all skype, skype skype,

 Conference calls talking about how we miss eachother,

 Then when days past everything started to fall in place, 

 New friends, teaching me new words,

 Make me cry, " mummy"

 Laugh at me, 

 Sir says make her cry she cant face the world if she is like that,

 I was a tubelight,

 Many said i am Immature,

 But when days and nights past,

 Everyone strated liking me,

 I got some really good friends who care for me,

 Meantime, we had our own dramas,

 Again some to call as soon asi reach home to speak for hours,

 After all we spoke for the whole day at school,

 Again then i started having best time of life,

 Which i tought i would never have without you all,

 Till then all what i know is you,

 Differnet Differnet set of friends,

 Again Some friends,

 Who trust me,

 Who think i am crazy, 

 Who really miss me,

 Who's glad that i  became a part of their life,

 I was always in a little cirlce, 

 You my friends taught me,

 What the real world look like.

 And How cunnning the real world is,

 You made me not to be blind,

 Now still,

 I am like a kid,

 I am immature, 

 But a person who know the world by not.

 Just looking, 

 But experiencing

 If i dont talk to you it may,

 Mean that i am angry with you,

 Be because we dont have time for eachother,

 The world is bigger than we think,

 And we have our own set of different friends,

 But that will never mean that we are not friends,

 I am always there for you, 

 A call is more than enough,

 And i know you are always there for me.

  I can never hate you, 

  I am never a person who can hate you, 

  Even if i am angry with you i will still miss you,

  You my friends are more important to me,

  I happy that i have met you and we are still friends,

 No matter what,

 Who you are? 

 You may not look cute as yu looked before,

 You may not be rich as yu were before,

 But i am there to 

 Only love you for what you are.......

                                                                            - Shobija

                                                                               17th August 2011

Thoughts on a disappeared friendship

I have grown up but i haven't changed,
I have learnt to make better decisions  and i am proud of the person who i am now.
If you thing that i have changed then you are being judgmental,
and i realized that you have always been judgmental  but i prioritized you more than you deserved and now realizing that you are not worth it.
Doubting myself if to regret on all these years of memories which we made.
I realize life is full of surprises things may change tomorrow but if it was only a misunderstanding for this distance and what will happen then. ??
Is what we had worth just a misunderstanding??  and assumptions ???
Then i feel that what we had has no worth.
So may the memories remain as it will never be gone away good times and bad times....!! 
Moving forward with a smile and hoping to accept all the unexpected with a smile :)